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UFC 261 For Dummies

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MONUMENTOUS fight tonight. You got UFC 261: Usman vs Masvidal 2, which features three title fights, and the first full-capacity crowd in over a year. Needless to say, this fight card fucks. So if you’re not the biggest UFC fan in the world, but you’re gonna be out at a bar, club, party, or funeral where they’ve got this thing on, you should know what you’re talking about. There’s nothing that gets panties to hit the floor faster then explaining to a young lady how Usman uses the jab to set up the takedown, so read this breakdown now, and thank me later.

Kamaru Usman vs Jorge Masvidal

In the main event of the evening we’ve got Kamaru Usman vs Jorge Masvidal for the Welterweight (170lb) championship of the world. These two fought back in July, and Usman completely dominated Jorge. So why do we care about a rematch? Two reasons. Reason 1: Masvidal took the first fight on six days notice, cut 22 pounds in that timespan, and still managed to put up a very respectable effort. Reason 2: its a classic dominant champion vs electric challenger matchup. Usman, the champion, is arguably the best welterweight of all-time and has barely lost a round since 2013, let alone a fight itself. And the challenger, Masvidal, is one of the most popular and entertaining fighters in the UFC today. He started fighting in Miami back yards with Kimbo Slice, has sick hair, knocked out Ben Askren in 3 seconds with a flying knee, says cool shit like “shadow-realm” and “baptize,” and is the current BMF (baddest motherfucker) belt holder— yes that’s a real thing.

So in summation, if you’re watching this fight with people tonight and wanna sound like you’re into UFC just say “Masvidal’s gonna baptize him tonight,” or “Masvidal’s gonna send him to the shadow realm.” You might be wrong, but at least you’ll sound somewhat educated.

Weili Zhang vs Rose Namajunas

In the co-main event you’ve got Weili Zhang vs Rose Namajunas for the women’s strawweight (115 lb) championship of the world. Before we get into this one, if you’re someone who doesn’t enjoy women fighting just shut the fuck up because this fight is gonna rule. Zhang, the champion, is coming off one of the greatest fights in UFC history when she defended her title last March. She went 5 rounds, defended her title, and landed bombs the whole time, despite eating some huge shots herself. Point being, Zhang is electric. She’s gonna walk forward, throw nukes, and make sure she puts on a show for the fans. Rose Namajunas, the challenger and former champion, is an interesting fighter, herself. She has some of the slickest striking and ground game in the division, was a former champ, and has worked her way all the way back to the title. She’s dealt with some pretty serious mental health stuff, and carries herself with a real stoic, apocalyptic demeanor, which is pretty fitting of a professional cagefighter. If my calculations (eye test and memory) serve me correctly, then I think we should be seeing a real strength advantage in favor of Zhang, but Rose will definitely be the faster fighter. Essentially, this fight comes down to this: Is Rose Namajunas strong enough to take the shots of Zhang, is Rose strong enough to hurt Zhang, and if this thing hits the ground who’s slicker.

So, if you wanna sound cool, I’d reccomend saying ‘Thug Rose’ a bunch when talking about the fight. That’s her nickname and what the announcers scream when she fights — fans will understand if you call her this. Oh yeah, Rose also said “Better Red than Dead” when referring to her Chinese opponent too so thats kinda funny.

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Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.

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