NHL

Things are About to Get Silly in the Qualifying Round of the NHL Playoffs

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What a time to be alive. The world has gone to shit. Floridians didn’t want to endure the mild inconvenience of wearing a mask and are now paying the price for it. Tom Brady is quoting FDR and holding workouts like some anti-vaxer. And now the NHL draft lottery is won by a team that is still in the playoffs.

I pray to Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the donkey they rode in on that the 10-12 seeds go full Chicago Black Sox with this thing to secure that #1 overall draft pick. I want the Canadiens resting Carey Price for “load management”. I want Patrick Kane dangling the puck into the corner and running the goalie every odd man rush. I can already see Kieth Yandle yelling his patented SONNNKKKK and ripping a slapshot off Bobrovski’s skate into his own goal twice a night.

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PS: Poor, poor Buffalo and Detroit. Buffalo literally can’t catch a single break. They have one of the best centers in hockey and can’t even qualify for a 24 team playoff. Detroit wins 17 games and is picking 4th overall. Neither team even sniffed the top pick and will likely sit in mediocrity for yet another season. T’s and P’s to my Sabres and Red Wings readers.

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