As I write this blog tears shed down my face, and a wave of depression sweeps over my entire body. My favorite player in the history of the Brooklyn Nets franchise has left the team to become a Washington Wizard. You may have read the words “favorite player in the history of the Nets franchise” and wondered to yourself if this blog is written by a person with mental issues, and while this blog is indeed written by a person with mental issues, Dinwiddie is still my favorite Net ever. Yeah KD, Kyrie, Harden D-Will, Brook Lopez, and Iso Joe were cool, but they’ll never be Dinwiddie. Why spencer? Watch this.
I’ve never seen a greater display of talent on a basketball court than I did from Spencer Dinwiddie that day. You know what they say, that wasn’t Spencer Dinwiddie on the court, that was god dressed up as Spencer Dinwiddie.
The fact that I’ll never hear Ian Eagle yell “OOHHHHHH, Spencer Dinwiddie” again literally makes me want to lay down in oncoming traffic and take my chances with fait. If there’s no Dinwiddie in Brooklyn what else is there to look forward to?
Just thinking of Spence wearing that putrid Washington Wizards jersey makes me want to vomit. It’s like envisioning your girlfriend banging another dude after you, except your favored to win the NBA title, and the other dude is literally the Washington Wizards. The only silver lining in this thing, and I mean THE ONLY silver lining, is that Spenny will get to spend a ton of time in DC. In case you didn’t know, the guy’s a genius. 3 years in DC, and he’s gonna be a senator at a minimum by the time he’s done. I give it until like 2050 before the guys just running the entire country, and to be honest with you, if it’s not Spencer Dinwiddie’s America then I don’t wanna live in it.
Oh, and to kick a dog when he’s down, the Nets got literally nothing for Dinwiddie. Oh, a 2024 second, that’s great, second-round picks typically produce tons of value, there’s no chance whoever we draft with that pick never gets out of the G-League. Alright, well, I’m gonna die now enjoy your night.