CoronavirusDatingLifestyle

Special Space Suit Supports Socializing While Coronapocalypse Continues.

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People sick and tired of being stuck at home (as opposed to people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired from having the coronavirus) can now rejoice as scientists have created a new suit designed to allow people to rave in person without the nuisance of social distancing. Once again, American know-how has come up with a way to cope with even the most annoying situations including the global pandemic known as the coronapocalypse.

Miss these days?

The UK Mirror has all the details on the suit that could not only bring sexy back, but allow people to mingle in public.

this pandemic-proof air-tight outfit called the Micrashell Futuresuit could allow people to safely gather in nightclubs – and even allow the wearer to vape and have a drink. Los Angeles creative studio Production Club has described the outfit, which comprises an airtight suit and helmet, as the “future of human interaction.”

The colourful outfit includes an in-suit beverage and vape supply system, built-in speakers, and a phone charger.

Could this be the relief people have been looking for? While my normal status as a misanthrope has made the coronapocalypse an ideal living situation, I understand that not everyone likes to stay home, which is why this suit could be a lifesaver. Using my journalistic skills I clicked the designer’s website to learn more about this suit. According to their website Micrashell Productions:

Micrashell was born as a socially responsible solution to safely allow people to interact in close proximity. Specifically designed to satisfy the needs of nightlife, live events and entertainment industries, Micrashell is a virus-shielded, easy to control, fun to wear, disinfectable, fast to deploy personal protective equipment (PPE) that allows socializing without distancing.

How much will this cost? Use your stimulus check as a down payment.

While I’m no fashionista, I have to admire this smart-looking suit that combines sexiness with public safety (assuming of course that it does everything it claims to do). I see it as a cross between something out of Power Rangers and Starship Troopers. To my surprise, it contains no anti-gravity capabilities or body armor, but its features are impressive nonetheless as the manufacturer describes it:

Air-tight top suit + hybrid soft+hard helmet made of tactical, high performance cut resistant fabric and developed for durability, endurance and easy disinfecting procedures. Main materials based on UHMWPE fabrics and lightweight film composite, including sealed sewed patterns and ornaments as well as cordura inserts. This offshoot of a hazmat suit contains two lithium-ion cell battery systems for uninterrupted active operation and are easy charge and swap when discharged (18650 type batteries).

The future is now

Whoever designed this suit planned ahead. The suit features a number of features to make sure you’re connected to your phone and you can get sloppy drunk while keeping COVID-19 at bay:

 Supply system based on partially disposable canisters allows users to vape and/or drink safely from your suit. Drink can be alcoholic, non-alcoholic or a liquid meal replacement

• To help you party smart, this system removes the possibility of being roofied as the drink remains enclosed inside of a custom canister and not exposed to external agents once the user starts drinking

Now for the questions most reporters won’t ask: 1) what if you need to drop a deuce after that stop at Taco Bell and ; 2) will the suit allow you to get your freak on if the sexy miss in a similar safety suit gives you the big eye? Let’s see what the manufacturer has to say:

BASIC NEEDS & SUIT HANDLING
• “Top only” suit design allows the user to wear their normal clothes, use the toilet and engage in intercourse without being exposed to respiratory risks

So if you’re DTF, this suit has you covered. There are many other features but I encourage you to check them out. Looking at the features, I imagine most people won’t be able to purchase one without selling a kidney. However, in the interest of keeping the public informed, I’ve already put in a request for Pro Sports Extra to buy one so I can give it a test run.

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Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.

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