Fashion

Should Judge Mark Grisanti Have Gone Shirtless When He Shoved a Cop? A Fatty Fashion Faux Pas?

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New questions are being raised about an incident from last June when Supreme Court Justice Mark Grisanti shoved a Buffalo cop after said cop arrested his wife. As important as that issue is, (and that the Grisantis somehow avoided criminal prosecution) the question of whether Judge Grisanti should have gone outside without a shirt on is disturbing, especially for someone with a less than impressive physique. Let’s look at what can only be called a fashion faux pas (one that even the Erie County District Attorney’s Office can’t get him out of).

First, let’s take a look at the incident in which the shirtless judge shoves a member of Buffalo’s Finest:

The summer heat can have people looking for relief, even in Buffalo, a city known more for its brutal winters than any record heat. Should the jiggly judge have gone shirtless? Let’s look at it from an earthly perspective then from a spiritual perspective: An interesting article from Men’s Health

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tackles the question noting:

a survey of our Women’s Health colleagues found that shirtlessness was unacceptable beyond the road closest to the beach or pool. Meanwhile going shirtless anywhere indoors is a MASSIVE no no, even if you’re in the shape of your life. 

The article even provides some simple advice that even the simple-minded can follow:

With such conclusive results, it seems there’s a good rule of thumb to follow; if you can see the ocean/water, you’re fine to go shirtless. But the minute you step indoors, cover up. 

The website Church of Christ Articles raises the question whether it’s Biblically sound for a man to go shirtless:

So let me answer the question in a qualified way. If a man can be in public with his shirt off without bringing attention to self and if a man can be in public with one’s shirt off without causing sexual attraction then a man can be in public with his shirt off. The question now becomes, can a man be in public with his shirt off and meet these qualifications? I just don’t see how that could be possible.

While I’m no spiritual sage, it seems to me that Judge Grisanti need not worry about causing sexual attraction while he goes shirtless. However, he seems to bring attention to himself not only with his gravity-challenged pectorals, but with a striking spare tire.

Even a simple t-shirt can mitigate the damage from a less than robust physique.

As someone who has no business walking around without a shirt on, I strongly encourage Judge Grisanti to wear shirts wherever he goes outside of a shower or his bedroom. As someone who brought shame to the legal profession for robbing banks and other nefarious activities (see my prison memoir, Laughing All the Way to the Bank (Robbery): How an Attorney Survived Prison) I suggest he get some help with his apparent anger management issues. If nothing else, consider the advice of Dean Wormer:

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Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.

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