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Rutgers is Going to Shock The World Tomorrow

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It feels like every time Rutgers has a big-time opponent, I’m writing some sort of blog about how we’re gonna shock the world. But, you know what, I actually feel good about this one. If the red zone offense didn’t have the effectiveness of a Russian COVID vaccine we would’ve beaten Michigan on the road last week, so why can’t we beat Ohio State?

I’d give you the whole schpiel about how Schiano has the team playing inspired, and how the defense is gonna pick off CJ Stroud 100 times, but it’s Rutgers so nobody will believe me anyway. What I will tell you is that the legendary SHI Stadium is going to be ROCKING tomorrow … maybe. I mean there’s definitely a chance it is. They said it was gonna be sold out for the Temple game and I saw a lot of empty seats, but you know what, we’re certainly capable of having a home-field advantage.

No, screw that, the student section at this game is 100% going to be electric. It has been for every home game so far, so when a powerhouse program comes into town the students are gonna support. You know who the problem is? All the boomers that pay for season tickets, don’t come to the game, and sell their tickets to Ohio State fans instead. Look at the stadium tomorrow, the student section is gonna look like it was pulled out of an ancient Romanian coliseum arena, and the rest of the stadium is gonna be half empty.

What are the old people in this state doing? We all know there are football fans out there, so why not come to the games? If a bunch of 20-year-olds can get up early, pound 15 beers, and still make it into the stadium before noon what’s your excuse? Are you too busy with your Johnson & Johnson middle management gig to watch Rutgers football try to make history? Greg Schiano should come after these people like he did to Eli Manning’s ACL’s in 2011.

Anyway, back to Ohio State. I mean, we could do it, I don’t know. It’s a 15 point spread so that’s honestly a victory in it of itself. But, if we somehow pull this off, I will sign a pledge to donate whichever one of my organs Greg Schiano needs at any point in his life. He can literally take a lung if he gets it done tomorrow.

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Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.
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