NFL

Remember that Kid who Threatened to Sue if You Hit Him?

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Yeah, that little b**** kid grew up and his name is Mason Rudolph. Imagine a world where an undersized white dude goes after a bigger, faster, and stronger defensive lineman…wait I’m getting ahead of myself. Imagine a world where an undersized white QB tries to rip off a bigger, faster, and stronger defensive lineman’s helmet off, kicks him in the nuts TWICE and gets his ass beat and plays victim. This is as millennial as it gets. “Here, let me just charge you after you ripped my helmet off even though two of my lineman have you restrained”. I have to give some credit to Rudolph, though, because honestly, the foresight was unbelievable. Notice how everyone is talking about Myles Garrett instead of how Rudolph played like Brucie from the Longest Yard with Freddie Mercury’s face? I mean, he got his ass kicked all night, what’s one more time to control the narrative?

This whole situation really is being blown out of proportion. We all know what is going to happen: the suspension will carry over well into next year, at least 4 games. Which, sounds about right considering the NFL has always been horrible at the practice of “consistency” considering Kareem Hunt is playing again, Big Ben wasn’t black balled out of the league for sexually assaulting some girls, and Vance McDonald missed zero time for murdering Chris Conte on prime-time television.

On the real, the NFL sucks at consistency. If Myles Garrett chased down Rudolph and cracked his bloated head with a helmet, okay yeah. I get it. That’s isn’t what happened. Rudolph kept going and wouldn’t stop. Guess what, stupid actions have stupid consequences. A man twice your size is having to be restrained by two of your guys and is holding YOUR helmet, don’t act surprised when you get cracked over the head. Then again, Rudolph’s skull is too thick anyways considering he took that like a flick to the arm.

In the end, I am not justifying what Garrett did, but this is a situation where the “what ifs” are being treated with higher priority than what actually happened. “That could have killed him” “Myles Garrett could have hospitalized him” Just. Shut. Up. Ever been in a car with a buddy and they drive like a maniac and when you get home you say, “My God you almost had us killed!” And they give you that “but I didn’t” shithead remark. Well guess what, that’s what this situation is.

My belief? 4-6 games for Garrett, 2 games to Rudolph: one for the on the field instigation and another one for acting like your typical white gated community kid from the suburbs and taking no blame for a situation you caused.

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