Is There A More Uninspiring Film Death Than Goose’s in Top Gun?

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Ya, you already hate this take. I know it, it’s okay. To be completely honest, I don’t see all the hype surrounding Top Gun. It’s a fine movie no doubt, but I certainly don’t understand it’s long lasting popularity.

I didn’t see Top Gun until I was 22 years old. People treated me like a Corona patient lunatic when I’d say “no haven’t seen it, not in any hurry to either”. One day when I was hanging in from the bars because I was broke wanted to give my body a break and study, I decided to see what all the hype was about.

I decided the movie was fine. Maybe every good. I can see how in the 80’s people would go nuts for a Tom Cruise fighter pilot movie. But Lord Almighty, this Goose guy everyone was ranting and raving about? I swore I was watching an edited cut, because I couldn’t understand the infatuation. Mainly due to the anticlimactic death he “suffered”.

I mean, that’s it??? That’s the death? All 22 seconds of it? He bonked his head, floated to the surface of the ocean, and died in a pile of Shrek’s piss? End scene??? All with the awkward porn background music playing? Give me a second while I put my tissues back cuz I didn’t need them even for a second.

Go ahead. Come at me at Twitter. It’s not my fault I cried harder at Aslan dying in The Chronicles of Narnia. Now that’s how you lasso and tug on some heart strings, boys and girls.

That’s how you do it baby! That’s how you make a grown man swallow hard and and turn his head away from his girl to hide his tears! That scene has it all. Heroism, self sacrifice, ridicule, a cute cat, a knife wielding dwarf, a cyclops with a spear, and evil seemingly conquering good with one fell swoop of a dagger to the heart. Just completely outclassed the writers and directors of Top Gun. Now, where did I put that tissue box?

Follow me on Twitter @T_Ry25_

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