Ya, you already hate this take. I know it, it’s okay. To be completely honest, I don’t see all the hype surrounding Top Gun. It’s a fine movie no doubt, but I certainly don’t understand it’s long lasting popularity.

I didn’t see Top Gun until I was 22 years old. People treated me like a Corona patient lunatic when I’d say “no haven’t seen it, not in any hurry to either”. One day when I was hanging in from the bars because I was broke wanted to give my body a break and study, I decided to see what all the hype was about.

I decided the movie was fine. Maybe every good. I can see how in the 80’s people would go nuts for a Tom Cruise fighter pilot movie. But Lord Almighty, this Goose guy everyone was ranting and raving about? I swore I was watching an edited cut, because I couldn’t understand the infatuation. Mainly due to the anticlimactic death he “suffered”.

I mean, that’s it??? That’s the death? All 22 seconds of it? He bonked his head, floated to the surface of the ocean, and died in a pile of Shrek’s piss? End scene??? All with the awkward porn background music playing? Give me a second while I put my tissues back cuz I didn’t need them even for a second.

Go ahead. Come at me at Twitter. It’s not my fault I cried harder at Aslan dying in The Chronicles of Narnia. Now that’s how you lasso and tug on some heart strings, boys and girls.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ6VAGyhWXM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNPthmhv9AE

That’s how you do it baby! That’s how you make a grown man swallow hard and and turn his head away from his girl to hide his tears! That scene has it all. Heroism, self sacrifice, ridicule, a cute cat, a knife wielding dwarf, a cyclops with a spear, and evil seemingly conquering good with one fell swoop of a dagger to the heart. Just completely outclassed the writers and directors of Top Gun. Now, where did I put that tissue box?

Follow me on Twitter @T_Ry25_

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