Olivia Rodrigo is set to visit the Whitehouse to take part in a COVID-19 vaccination outreach program, and I honestly think this is just the first in her plan to take over the world. The girl’s 18 and she’s already the greatest pop singer I’ve ever heard (I’m kidding, but like am I?), so who’s to say she’s not President by 25? I guess the constitution says that, but I’m sure they’ll amend it for her.
I’m honestly not surprised that Joey Biden is an O-Rod fan. New nickname, by the way, once that blows up please credit me. But yeah, you’re telling me you can’t see that old bag bopping his head to “good 4 u while” doing whatever the president does in the Oval office? He’s probably got that shit on loop.
I do think it’s a smart move by the white house to do this, though. There’s a massive group of people out there, especially myself, who would literally do anything this girl tells them to do. You want me to get vaccinated? No problem. You want me to shoot black tar heroin while listening to “Drivers License” until I overdose? Alright, if you say so.
Who know’s maybe one day I bump into her, show her my vax card, tell her “you did this,” and next thing you know I’m her boyfriend. Not impossible friends, not impossible. Oh, and if by any chance you’re reading this Olivia, you can add me on Snapchat @noahgagnon02. Think about it, I’m a great guy.