So here I am, sitting in a library, trying to scroll through a little instagram to procrastinate writing my gender studies paper, and I find out this app is down! Are you kidding me?! This is the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, if Instagram goes down, the entire infrastructure of our country goes down the tubes. Who’s behind this? The North Koreans? Is Kim Jung Un sitting behind a computer trying to prevent me from looking at Nets preseason highlights and Sommer Ray’s bum? Also, did we ever find out if Kim Jung-Un died? I feel like that one really got swept under the rug.

Also, everyone is complaining about how their individual Instagram was hacked can freaking relax. You’re not a celebrity, you’re not the government, if you send off a few weird DMs nobody gives a shit. You have no pressing personal information that any hacker would want, and you’re in absolutely no danger. If the hackers are coming to take down Instagram I’m pretty sure they’d be going after bigger accounts than Stacy from Vermont and her 356 followers.

But let’s get real for a second here. This a positive situation. We’re all so attached to our phones and social media and the lives of others, this is fantastic detox situation. Forget Instagram and social media for a few hours. Go for a walk, catch up with an old friend, find the local drug dealer and smoke a little crack-cocaine, experience the world! What am I saying, we all know the second this things back up we’re all running straight to our phones. Must be a stressful day to be an engineer at Facebook. Hurry up, nerds.

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