How to deal with another New England Championship as a Non-Masshole

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If you are like me or any other rational sports fan living in the United States, you hate the city of  Boston. They just won their 12th championship in the last 20 years. A lot of fans won’t see 12 championships in their entire life but if you are under 35 and from Massachusetts, championships are all you know. Let’s try to help everyone deal with the pain of another New England championship.


If you follow this rule the rest of the week really won’t be too bad but this is a very hard thing to do and for most is unrealistic.

Step 2) When you inevitably go on Twitter, don’t engage

You really want to stay off social media in general but specifically twitter because you’ll see about a million New Englanders acting like they are die-hard fans, claiming that everyone doubted their team all year, that they were huge underdogs and that Tom Brady is the best human to ever live.

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They are all wrong but if you decide to engage you’ll always lose in the end because they have an ace up their sleeve of having just won the Super Bowl (I think I’m allowed to say Super Bowl but if I’m not, come sue me NFL). In fact, they just tied the Steelers for the most Super Bowl wins for a franchise and Tom Brady became the only player to have six rings so they have about ten aces up their sleeves.

Step 3) Don’t watch First Take or Undisputed

In general, you shouldn’t watch them because they are awful shows but you really shouldn’t watch them this week. Already this morning, Skip tweeted out asking if last night hurt Tom Brady’s legacy as he won his 6th title. The shows are meant to trigger you with awful sports take and they will succeed with that if you watch.

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Step 4) Avoid anyone from New England if you can

I lived with Boston Sports fans throughout college and they were insufferable when they won championships. Avoid them at all costs.

Step 5) Repeat

Specifically, repeat step 4 for the rest of your life if you can.

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