From time to time, I’ll take public transit to visit my parents out in the “burbs,” and it never fails that I come to the following conclusion – public transit is for the birds. Not only have I drawn this conclusion from my periodic train rides to the burbs, but I previously would take the subway to work (pre-Covid) and I can guarantee, without a shadow of a doubt, that public transit is trash.
Let’s dive into the never ending reasons as to why this form of transportation in the United States is complete and utter hot garbage.
Shifty patrons. It never fails that I encounter the shiftiest and dare I say most intimidating fellow riders of my life. Shifty characters that talk to themselves, argue with others, argue with transit workers, fist fight each other, and burn a hole through my face with their beady eyes. Once I reach my destination, I damn near want to kiss the platform for arriving safely to my destination without losing a limb or my life. See below for the various characters you’ll encounter on the train…
Questionable Sanitation Practices. The train looks like it hasn’t been deep cleaned or disinfected since the early 1990s and it stinks of foul body odor. Need I say more?
Tardiness. The damn train is late like its life depends on it. Cue Frank The Tank Fleming’s rant on public transit and how it is complete dog shit. I know this is a foreign concept, but every once in a while I’d like to arrive on time to my destination.
Disorganization. It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is or what train line you’re riding, there’s always confusion as to what track/train is going where. It’s as if the train schedule they have posted on the wall is a mere suggestion rather than an actual train schedule. Half of the time it’s pure pandemonium and confusion in the train station as someone announces over the speakers that train X going north has been moved to track X that’s typically known for trains going south. For the love of the God, let’s get it together public transit.
Before you go and write me off as a bougie public transit hater, I’ll have you know that I have previously relied on public transit in other countries and I have NEVER had a more pleasant experience. For some reason, international public transit feels overall safer, cleaner, more organized, and is far more punctual than our subway system that struggles to even arrive let alone on time. I would recommend public transit in another country before I would ever recommend someone take a train in specifically, Chicago. These trains are complete dumpster fires and that’s putting it politely.
Welcome to hell…