Guess What…I Don’t Care About The Astros Cheating

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I need to preface something before I start. I am a huge supporter of the steroid era, and really steroid players in general, so I feel like it’s unfair to take any other position other than this. BUT. Even if I didn’t think Barry Bonds is the greatest baseball player of all time (which he is), I would still tell you the notion of stripping a World Series away from a team for stealing signs is really as asinine as it gets.

Here’s the issue: Baseball is quite literally a cheaters game. From betting, to sharpening cleats, to pine tar, to Crisco and jalapeno juice up the nose, this game is made for the people who will do whatever it takes to get an edge over their opponent. The Red Sox got busted using Apple Watches. Christian Yelich

, quite literally, admitted in his stupid clap back that Yu Darvish was right in assuming he was getting signs from the outfield. (BTW Yelich, don’t give it away by responding how a 5-Year old does when he is in trouble). Goddamnit I hate Milwaukee.

Anyways, the issue for me is this: It doesn’t guarantee anything. Case and point, they lost to a less talented, but hotter, Washington Nationals this year. Do you think the Astros all of a sudden had a change of heart and decided to stop the sign relay? No, because a change of heart and doing what is right, no matter who you are, isn’t convenient. Just ask the Pope. No, instead what we saw was a World Series where neither team won a game at home throughout the entire sha-bang.

I’m not saying it doesn’t help, but it doesn’t guarantee anything either. Honestly, I know for a fact with zero sources telling me anything that there are multiple teams that are guilty of what the Astros are doing. It’s just like Spy-gate. The Astros are winning/going to the World Series so their offense is more egregious than the rest.

At the end of the day, the MLB only has themselves to blame. There’s hundreds of camera’s stationed all over the field specifically to make the game slow down and still get the calls wrong through instant replay so no one is going to question a camera and monitor stationed in the dugout. Also, here’s an insane notion: You’re in the bigs, maybe, (even with nobody on) your signs for pitches shouldn’t be single finger signals? I don’t know, just a thought.

In the end, the Astros are the best team in baseball AND they cheated. Not the best team because they cheated. And honestly, we should expect that. There’s a reason the Twins suck and never win. It’s because they let you into their house, eat all their food, and leave the porch door unlocked in case you get cold. Nice guys finish last.

***I rescind all of this if the Milwaukee Brewers are found to be guilty of cheating. In that instance, a death penalty is proper and fitting.

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