Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. To some, it’s the worst holiday of the year. Love is, in essence, a formless metaphysical concept. But thanks to capitalism, it now takes the form of whatever a retailer wants to sell you.

Money makes the world go ‘round, and this is apparent on Valentine’s Day. A little over a month after Christmas, retailers figure our bank accounts have recovered from the holiday season and need another reason to drag you into their stores. That’s where Valentine’s Day comes in. The love-filled holiday might not be for singles, but it isn’t for the broke, either.

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Also, lowkey, the fact that a baby shooting people with arrows in the ass is a dogshit and also kind of creepy mascot to represent a holiday.

Luckily this year, money can be saved. Women reading this who want to shop for men, look no further. Men, feel free to share this with your wives and girlfriends.

Our favorite female golf pro said in an interview this past year that made something very clear about Valentine’s Day. Men don’t want chocolate, or flowers, or some cute gift they have to pretend to like. They want one thing for sure, and potentially two things.

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“I think they just want sex,” Paige Spiranac said. It depends on who he’s talking to, what he likes and what his interests are,” she added. I think there are some guys who would like a well-cooked meal” (Credit: Playing A Round Podcast).

For those of you out there are not familiar with who Paige Spiranac is, I implore you to scroll down and see exactly what you have been missing out on.

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