It was announced today that former NBA all-star Deron Williams is gonna step in the boxing ring against NFL Legend Frank Gore on the Jake Paul vs Tommy Fury undercard. That was the worst sentence I’ve ever written. Am I gonna watch this freakshow? Absolutely. But wow, does this depress me.

Deron Williams was a childhood hero of mine, and now I’m gonna see him show subpar boxing skills against a man with the largest testicles this side of the Appalachians. If you would have told ten-year-old me, who would come home from school every day and watch Deron Williams singlehandedly carry the New Jersey/Brooklyn Nets, that in a few years this guy would be boxing the RB2 from my fantasy team, I’d call you crazy. But, here we are.

Rumor has it Deron Williams has been training MMA since he retired, and he’s actually a part-owner of Fortis MMA, which is a really great gym, so maybe he’s actually got some skill. This means he’s spent time training around some beasts like UFC Light Heavyweight Ryan Spann, so who knows, maybe he has a similar right hand to Spann too.

Rumor also has it that Frank Gore has declined opportunities to come back to the NFL because he’s focusing on boxing. This one stings a bit, as there are some teams out there that could really use Frank. If I’m a Chief’s fan I’m pretty distraught over the fact that I have to watch Darell Williams and Clyde Edwards-Helaire stumble around the backfield every week, knowing there’s a more than serviceable Frank Gore out there working on his overhand right instead of scoring touchdowns.

But this is really just part one million of why Jake Paul’s life rules, right? On top of all the money and fame and women, he just gets to play celebrity boxing matchmaker and create the biggest freakshow’s I’ve ever seen. Frank Gore vs Deron Williams! Who thinks of that? I’m hoping he finds a way to get Jokic and Markieff Morris in there next.

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