I’m not one of these fancy Wall Street guys in their pinstripe suits enjoying their martinis and cocaine during lunch. Nope, I’m a Philly scumbag who hates you for not loving me. But I don’t hate money, it’s the same color as the Eagles uniform, so it’s easy to love. I’ve been playing the stocks with my extra time. Took my stimulus check ($1200) and turned it into $4000. Cashed out before the drop yesterday. Now I’m buying during the dip and these are the three stocks I’m buying and so should Davey Day Trader.
Lululemon ($294.11 at 1pm) – The lockdown is over and white girls are going back to their fancy classes. Spin, yoga, and CrossFit gyms are going to be packed! Therefore, white girls need fresh gear so they can post on their instagram page and workout I guess. It’s down today, time to BUY BUY BUY!
Imbev ($51.17 at 1pm) – Time to hit the bars! There is going to be a shit ton of orders from bars to restock. Parents have been home with their kids too long, they need a beer! At the moment, most places are only outdoor dining. But, when they are 100% open, they’ll need more boozes to stock their shelves. Bottoms Up!
Starbucks ($74.84 at 1pm) – Starbucks announced they’ll be opening more locations now that were emerging from our caves. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to sit in the drive thru with 20+ cars to get coffee. After the white girls finish their workouts, in their brand new Lulu gear, they’ll hit the local Starbucks for their lattes. Also, don’t let the recent news scare you, Starbucks already backtracked and are letting their employees wear ‘BLM’ pieces of flair.
READ: I have no idea what I’m talking about, therefore these are only suggestions. Trade at your risk, it is not my fault if you lose money. Therefore, by reading this I’m not liable for your actions.