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‘Dave Portnoy Reminds Everyone He Has Faster Hands Than Delino Deshields’ @stoolpresidente

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El Pres is at it again. His athletic accomplishments never stop to amaze us. From striking out Hank, to stopping NHL goal scorers with lightning in a glove. However, this new display of athleticism is maybe his best yet.

Last night, it appeared Dave was at a dinner of sorts with his lovely girlfriend. According to Davey Pageviews, a woman came up to Silvana and ridiculed her for dating David. Solvana was asked “ew, do you not believe in women’s rights?” This can’t be anything new to Dave and Silvana, as the haters are a plenty. But, what happened next will shock you!

Dave claims the women then went and grabbed a piece of pizza from his table! The audacity!!! Dave went into action. Before this wench could take a bite, Pres slapped her hand, and she dropped the pizza. The women then went into a frenzy, and was promptly kicked out of the bar.

This is a lesson to all the haters. Even through all of the success, Dave has no quit in him. It is best to not test the king.

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