Coronavirus

Coronavirus Causes Extended Erection: Baneful Boner Baffles

As if the coronapocalypse couldn’t get any worse, scientists are investigating the case of a 62-year-old Frenchman who reportedly suffered an extended erection due to a COVID-19 infection. It was bad enough that the man was in rough shape after becoming infected with the coronavirus, but then things worsened when his schlong stiffened, sending savage sensations through his central nervous systems. According to The Daily Mail the patient went:

to his doctor with a fever, dry cough, difficulty breathing and diarrhoea, and two days later was rushed to hospital where a test confirmed the coronavirus. 

On arrival he was mechanically ventilated because he was showing signs of respiratory failure, called ARDS.

A physical examination found ‘previously unidentified priapism’, suggesting it had been there for some time.

The medical team was able to help restore the phallus to flaccidness, much like any man who accidentally tunes into The View or The Talk.

How long remains unknown, but thankfully, doctors were able to help the man. According to The Sun:

The patient was sedated and therefore unable to answer questions about pain – however it is known to be agonising, the doctors said.

The two chambers of tissue inside the penis, known medically as the corpora cavernosa, were rigid but the tip was flaccid.

An ice pack was applied to the area and after fours hours his erection still hadn’t gone down.

They decided to carry out a procedure to remove the blood from his penis using a needle.

Stock footage of an angry man. Who wouldn’t be angry if their penis was in pain?

The article at The Sun reports “This case is understood to be the first time that penile thrombosis has been reported in patients with coronavirus.” The case drew enough attention that an article about it can be found in the American Journal of Emergency Medicine. Click here for a copy of the report.

In other penis-related news, no update on Terri Runnels’s assertion that WWE Superstar Brock Lesnar has a small penis.

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