It’s a sad day in Major League Baseball, as long-time Baltimore Oriole Chris Davis is retiring from the game. Davis was a staple of baseball in the early lives of many 2000s babies such as myself, so seeing him go is a true sign of the times. Check out his retirement note.

Davis was really one of the all-time wild stat guys I’ve ever seen. He went for 53 bombs in 2013, and then batted .196 in 2014. He ended up signing a 7 year, $161m contract in 2016, and then didn’t get over the Mendoza line after that, including a .168 season in 2018. How can you not love the guy?

Chris Davis’ career is honestly the ultimate life lesson. Get hot for about 2 years, and then coast off that the rest of your career. He’s gonna be getting paid millions for the next three years all because he went yard 47 times in 2015! That’s almost a decade of coasting! Orioles fans have gotta hate this guy, right? Who cares?! As a Yankee fan, I’m gonna miss having this guy go 0-5 every night while eating up the entire budget of the Baltimore Orioles. God bless.

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