Breaking: Joe Biden Injures Foot

Shhhhhiiiiiittttttt. Joey B hasn’t even stepped foot in the white house yet and we’re already having medical troubles. In case you’ve been living under a rock these past few days and happened to miss this bombshell, let me fill you in. President-elect Joe Biden suffered a hairline fracture in his foot while playing with his dog Major on saturday.
Reports have it that Biden twisted his ankle, then was diagnosed with a hairline fracture/ sprained ankle by Delaware orthopedists. Now, I know the big J journos are claiming the injury occurred while Biden was playing with his dog, and that BETTER be true. This guy best have sprained his ankle playing fetch, because if I find out he got snapped during a game of pickup ball I’m heading to Canada so fucking fast it’ll be like I teleported.
No president of mine is gonna be in a damn walking boot after getting crossed on the hardwood, there’s a certain prestige this great nation maintains, and thats pissed on if our leader’s getting his ankles taken. Seriously though, its gonna be a tough look if the guys in a walking boot for his inauguration. Like who did we elect, Joe Biden or Big Ben?
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