Barstool Sports

Big Cat Owes Me A New Twitter @BarstoolBigCat #FreeAustenLange

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In the last week I have been banished from the ever so amazing app called Twitter. Now, I know many will blame me and accuse me of being outlandish and pushing the limits. However, fuck you people. I speak on an app about sports, big wet butts, and gambling and not all in that order. I try and be as funny as I can while staying original but I took a page out of ole Big Dad Cat’s playbook and well, it ultimately became my downfall.

One of my dear friends was arguing on the app back and forth with the ever so wonderful streaming service, ROKU. Now, I typically stray away from stupid fights on twitter but I remebered seeing how honorable and valiant Big Cat looked when he stands up for the blue check marks who have issues at the airport. I WANTED TO BE THAT GUY.

So I told ROKU I’d skull fuck them if they didn’t fix my buddies account and here I am now having to create burner accounts just so I can even see what is happening in the world.

Now a real man would just take this blame all on his own shoulders and not even think about blaming someone else for their actions. I for one am none of those things. I need Big Cat to get papa Gaz on the phone and tell him to call JACK and F-I-X-I-T!


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