MLB

Aroldis Chapman is toying with the Houston Astros

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Ok, I know you read this headline and refer to his prior history with domestic abuse, and then you think to yourself, oh no, what did the guy do now? No, no, easy, pleas calm. I actually meant this as a compliment. Aroldis is a complete dawg. This season the guys bumped 11 innings, no runs, two hits, and 26 Ks. Dare I say I trust him again?

Like, watch this pitch and try not to get aroused. Imagine playing an entire nine innings of baseball and then having to deal with a 99 MPH fastball grazing the outside corner. I’d seriously consider quitting baseball and pursuing a degree in liberal arts or some shit, because you’re never touching that. Now, when this guy’s pitching in a key spot in October will I still be sweating from my nipples to my butthole? Oh yeah. But hey, if the early statistics are any indication the guys gonna be mowing dudes down with ease, so lets hope he stays hot.

Sidenote, remember when the Reds tried to make him a starter? That was pretty wild, huh? They were just like you know what, this guy throws the ball really fast in the ninth, he could probably do it in the first through fifth too, right? So relatable, like that’s exactly what I would think if I managed the guy too. And you know Aaron Boone would’ve tried that shit if the Reds didn’t first, but thankfully they got the experiment out of the way in Cincy.

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Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.
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