North Korea’s lovable autocrat Kim Jong Un is back in the public eye and sporting a slimmer, trimmer physique. Naturally, Rocketman’s new look has people wondering how he’s taken off the pounds and whether he’ll replace Marie Osmond as the spokesperson for Nutrisystem, the company that provides meals designed to help you take off the weight.
In case you’ve missed the never-ending stream of ads for Nutrisystem (one which follows), here’s a brief history of the weight loss company from the website VeryWellFit
Nutrisystem was created in the early 1970s by entrepreneur Harold Katz who was inspired by watching his mother’s repeated attempts at weight loss. Katz set up his first weight loss center near his home in Philadelphia and then began selling franchises throughout the United States. By the 1990s, the program had evolved into a popular heat-and-eat meal delivery service.
Marie Osmond (who still looks quite fetching at 61) has been praising the virtues of Nutrisystem but years, but it may be time for her to move over. According to a recent report from NPR, Kim Jong Un (who at one point was believed to have been ready for the produce section last year) is looking slim and trim:
In recent state media images, including those published on Wednesday, Kim appeared to have lost a large amount of weight. The strap on his fancy watch is tighter, and his face thinner. Some observers say Kim — who is about 170 centimeters (5 feet, 8 inches) tall and has previously weighed 140 kilograms (308 pounds) — may have lost about 10-20 kilograms (22-44 pounds).
Kim whose alleged penchant for puffing one cigarette after another and pounding back his favorite adult beverages led to him taking on Oompa Loompa-like proportions at one point, might not be thin due to any health ailments. Instead, “Rocketman” might be taking advantage of the pandemic to focus on his health. Perhaps he’s followed Nutrisystem’s pitchwoman Marie Osmond’s advice that “you can’t take care of others unless you take care of you.” The NPR report suggests Kim is doing just that:
Kim’s apparent weight loss is more likely an attempt to improve his health, rather than a sign of illness, according to Hong Min, a senior analyst at Seoul’s Korea Institute for National Unification.
“If he was experiencing health problems, he wouldn’t have come out in public to convene the plenary meeting of the Workers’ Party’s Central Committee,” a major political conference this week that is expected to last two to three days, Hong said.
Kim Jong Un could be a great spokesperson for Nutrisystem, reminding the public how he keeps his subjects in North Korea looking
gaunt and ghastly slim and trim thanks to funneling luxuries like food to necessities like munitions production. His new slogan could be “How can you keep your subjects under your thumb unless you take care of you?”
Considering Kim’s charm and marketability, I highly recommend Marie Osmond decline any offer to visit North Korea. She could be out of a job and preaching Mormonism in a North Korean rocket factory. Then again, she might perform some country classics at the long-rumored Trump Taj Mahal in Pyongyang