Barstool Sports

Conqueror Dave Portnoy Modern Day Genghis Khan!!!!!

The similarities are astounding. Khan united nomadic tribes in Northeast Asia. Dave United bloggers for the most part from the Northeast.

Khan invaded and took over dynasties such as the Jin dynasty, the Western Xia, and the Khawarzmain. Dave has conquered Deadspin, John Skipper, and the minds of most of ESPN’s former viewers.

Khan had a reputation for being a bad boy and beheading enemies and dancing on their bodies. Dave is the bad boy of the internet, he has engraved champagne bottles of his enemies and pops them when he defeats them.

It’s not all negative without Genghis Khan the Silk Road would have never be opened, allowing trade though out the Middle East. the West and Asia. Little known fact Dave has opened the door for woman to thrive. Call Her Daddy is the number 1 female podcast. Kayce Smith is the only lead anchor on a weekly college football show. He doesn’t discriminate he elevates.

After Khan’s rule he was remembered for being the greatest conqueror of all time. His accomplishments are still taught in classes 800 years after his death. Well the rate that El Pres Dave Portnoy is going. They will be teaching about him 800 years from now. How to take over the internet and reach the minds and the pulse of the every day sports fan brick by brick.

So to here’s to Dave, and the rest of the hoard at barstool! Keep dominating, keep innovating , keep motivating, and keep conquering. Khans dynasty eventually came to an end, we love you guys but prosportsextra is coming and we want the crown.

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